Letters to My Son

 

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My strong little man,

I have a feeling that today will be remembered as a turning point for you.  We enrolled you in a Taekwondo Academy and today was your first class.  You were nervous at first, not sure you wanted to participate.  But as soon as the Instructor called out, “Mr. George!  Will you join us?”  You ran to the mat and jumped up and down with excitement.

Your personality came out during this class.  You are a very black and white, all or nothing young man.  When your heart is involved in something, nothing can stop you.  I watched you run laps and try to pass all the other kids.  During circuit training, you had no fear of failure.  You jumped right in and tried several things you had never even seen done before.  When the class was over, you would not leave until I purchased your uniform because you were determined to come back in two days for your white belt.  You wore the uniform all afternoon.

This will be yet another Type 1 Diabetes learning curve for us.  I tested your blood sugar before the class, and I knew you were going low toward the end.  But with some trial and error this will be no problem for us.

One reason we decided to sign you up for Taekwondo is because we notice that you are becoming increasingly frustrated and angry.  The littlest thing will cause you to burst into tears or shout angrily.  You frequently say to me that you feel like no one likes you.  And the hardest for me:  You want to hurt yourself sometimes.  I know that blood sugar levels play a part in this, but it isn’t the only factor.

One night a couple of weeks ago I got you up to visit the bathroom and you kept calling yourself an idiot and hitting yourself in the face.  I tested you and you were high.  I gave you a shot for the first time in the middle of the night.  Once you were peacefully sleeping again, I wept and cried out to the Lord.  Any parent who has ever seen their child hurt themselves knows the helplessness and fear that I felt.  But that night, something changed in my heart.  I began to see T1D as an enemy who was trying to destroy my son.

So I declared war.

  • I’m reading some new parenting material that is giving me a new perspective on how to communicate with and train you.
  • I am exercising because I want to set that example for you.  I need to be healthy in order to take care of you.  I need extra energy so I can come alongside you and teach you how to manage this disease.
  • I make myself read something about T1D every single night so I’m constantly learning something new.
  • I pray more.  And then I pray again.  And then I find myself praying.  Because Son, if there is anything I know for absolute sure right now…it is that we cannot do this on our own.  And we don’t need to.  We just read the story of David and Goliath again together.  At the end of the story I asked you, “Who brought victory to the Israelites?”  You didn’t even hesitate when you said, “God did.”  We may be fighting our own Goliath right now, but I promise you, God is the one who gives us strength for the battle.

I spoke with your Instructor after class.  She was so impressed with you that she recommends moving you up to the older class in September.  She mentioned that your focus and determination were exceptional.  You are a natural. Of course you are. You have been in a serious battle since March 19, 2014.

There is no other little soldier that I would rather fight alongside.  If you can do it, I can do it.

I love you with aaaaaaaallllllll of my fart.  I mean, heart.

Mom

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