I have not blogged in such a long time that I’m finding it very difficult to get started. No joke, it has taken me weeks to simply pick out a blog theme and I’m still not sure its the right one for me, and I definitely don’t understand all the elements of it. (What exactly is a widget?) I have no idea what to call my blog, so I’m calling it “The Blog.” Maybe if I just start writing, everything else will fall into place. I hope.
Sometimes Sundays are restful days for us. We most often go to church on Sunday, but sometimes they are days of organizing, cleaning and shopping. Sometimes we get together with friends. Sometimes I use Sunday afternoons and evenings to prepare for the upcoming week. I tend to be a forward-thinking, goal-oriented person. I try to think ahead because I like the feeling of being prepared and organized. I enjoy dwelling on what is to come, not necessarily what was in the past.
This Sunday, today, wasn’t normal for me. I found myself thinking not about where I’m headed in life, but rather how far I have come. Actually that’s not exactly right. I should say: I’m thinking about how the Lord’s incredible grace, unfathomable love and kindness have carried me. He is continually molding me, changing me and enabling me to live this life. And sometimes I realize just how far of a journey that has been, and how far it yet continues.
His love broke down my walls of distrust and fear.
His kindness caused me to want to know Him.
His grace humbled me and enabled me to come to Him.
From insecure and controlling, to vulnerable and trusting.
From performing to please others, to quietly learning how to serve out of love.
From rough waters in marriage, to the stream of Living Water that has brought life and healing to every area of our relationship.
From barrenness to two miraculous children.
From 220 pounds, to (enter secret weight here) and healthier lifestyle.
From looking over my shoulder at where I might have lived, where my children might have grown up, who they would’ve grown up with…to truly desiring God’s will above my own selfish one.
From being in full-time ministry, to isolation.
From isolation, to healthy church community that has become our extended family.
From depression, to joy.
Sometimes Sunday can be a day to prepare for what’s ahead. But I’m grateful that this Sunday, I took a minute to remember the steps already taken. Sometimes I think I didn’t actually take all those steps…I think I was carried on the shoulder of my Shepherd, Jesus. Because that’s the kind of Savior He is.