For my birthday, my Mom-In-Law gave me an electric throw blanket. I feel like the little character from the Peanuts cartoon because I have been carrying it almost everywhere with me, all over the house. I love it. No more cold feet, no more chilly evenings for me!!
But today I had another blanket. The blanket of the Peace of God. There’s nothing like it. And I can’t live without it. And I wish everyone would wear it.
I had 2 biopsies this morning. I’d like to say that it was simple, quick, easy…a piece of cake. But it really wasn’t. I didn’t feel any physical pain (thankfully), but it was traumatic enough that I’m still reeling from it. I’ve had this kind of biopsy before, but I don’t remember it being so emotional, so invasive, so scary.
The doctor was extremely kind, the nurse incredibly gentle and helpful. But they were running late. I was laying on the table waiting for quite a while, and the nurse had Shane come keep me company. Bless his heart, he told funny stories and made me laugh and did his best to keep me from worrying too much. He left for the procedure, but I could feel his strength the whole time.
I didn’t know they were going to take 5 samples from each biopsy. Thank GOD I didn’t know. I will not go into detail, but I’ll just say that I’m praying for a loss of memory. I don’t want to remember how it felt, or the sounds, or the size of the needles…I would be very happy if sudden selective amnesia came upon me.
I held it together for the mammogram that followed. I walked outside with Shane, but as soon as we hit the car I had to sob. I asked him to park somewhere else so I wouldn’t scare any ladies going into the building (imagine going in for your appointment and seeing a sobbing woman parked in a car on your way in). The emotions were overwhelming. The primary emotion was relief. Relief that this part was over. I don’t think I can put into words what all the other emotions were though.
There is one part I want to remember. Before the nurse left to find out why the doctor was delayed, and before Shane came into the room, the nurse asked me if I wanted a blanket to keep me warm. I stopped to think, and at that exact moment I felt as though a blanket was laid on me. I could definitely feel the Lord answering everyone’s prayers: He gave me a blanket of peace. I didn’t need anything else. I smiled at the nurse and said I was OK. And I was. Way down deep in that place where only God has access to…I had His peace, His comfort, His reassurance that not only was He with me, but He carried me.
And He carries me still this evening. I feel shaky, weepy, a little sick to my tummy, and a teensy bit anxious for the results that should come at the end of the week. I’m about to get my cozy electric throw blanket and watch a movie. I can’t wait to get all warmed up and relaxed. But the Peace Blanket is still upon me. I consider it my treasure today.
Ps. 4:8 “I will lie down and sleep in peace for You alone, Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety.”